I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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