you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
