I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
