Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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