is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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