just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
