I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize