Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
