Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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