Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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