I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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