just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
