If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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