Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
