wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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