Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
