Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
