just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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