she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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