Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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