My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
