That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
