R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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