I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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