Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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