She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
