I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
