worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
