I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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