K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
