There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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