She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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