hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
