I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize