Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
