Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
