I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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