have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
