haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
