I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
