The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
