i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
