I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Randomize
