I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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