White coat. Heels.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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