and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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