I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
