wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
