PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
