You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
