I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
