He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize