pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize