Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
