I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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