so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
