I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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