i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
