Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sober January is a disaster.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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