please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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