We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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