last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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