I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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