Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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