So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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