Already got asked if we're dating
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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