we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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