The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
