He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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