How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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