If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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