We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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