hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
