you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
