OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
