My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
