so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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