did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
