so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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