I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
