At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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