mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
