He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
