I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
