I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
